yourcure

I wish I was a hippy in the 60's. I drink more tea than my Grandma does. My Step-Grandpa is the sewing machine doctor. Speaking of sewing machines my friends mother got her finger caught in an industrial embroidery machine, strangest thing I have seen all year, thinking about it makes me kind of sick. I always want to write something, but there is always a part of me that is terrified that someone will read it and think, "That girl is fucked up." I think Americans are incredibly lazy and we are all slobs. I think it, see it, and live it. I haven't done anything about it. Sometimes when i wake up though the first thing I do is Jane Fonda.

Okay so ever since P.J. has come into my life it has all been Drama. And now today it has hurt me enough to make me cry. Only a little. And I've hardened up more. No more crying. Too bad I wasted my first kiss with a boy my OWN AGE on him. Reason #1 At the beginning of last week he was telling me he liked me and all this silly stuff and I thought it was cute. And we would talk and we kissed once. And on Saturday he became a huge asshole to me and now he likes Kristina. Good reminder of why I dont date boys my age.

"You only appreciate something once you've lost it" He's winning this battle he doesn't know he's fighting. Is he intentionally trying to hurt me? Because he is doing an amazing job. I miss his voice, I miss him. "Spend a lot of my time trying to make this alright" Between the 2 of us I am the only one who cares weather or not we are friends at all. He has found resolve to all of his problems. If he finds a girl that is nothing like me he can replace all of his feelings for me for her. And he's done just that and she is apparently amazing. But he tells her he loves her after less than a month. And thats what kills me.